Halloween

Update November 1st.--Well, between 7 and 9 pm I had all of 3 trick-or-treaters, all small kids from the apartment complex where I currently live. Last year I had none and about half a dozen the year before. And now I have a really big bowl of snack-size candy bars. Hmmm...., far too many calories and sugar for me.

Original Post.--I hate halloween. I don't know why I do and I've tried to overcome it but it's always there, the desire to hide halloween night by covering the bell with a big pillow so I can't hear it and going to bed with everything dark. Not matter how much I've tried to enjoy the halloween parties, I just don't get interested let alone excited.

I've often wondered if it's because I can't remember one Halloween we celebrated as a family. I just can't remember one. I don't remember any school parties. I don't remember ever going out to trick or treat. It's a big blank what we did that night. So I have no childhood connection to make it a happy holiday.

It's also since leaving home I don't really like parties. I'm one of those who lingers in the corner in quiet conversations until I can leave. I don't seek attention, and in fact hate it. I don't like be anywhere near anyone who's the "life of the party" as I've found those people often irritating.

Ok, I'm not a fun person. Blame it on my Dysthymia and being someone comfortable being alone (and yes, we're normal too). It's who I am. Even these days, when I out and find all the socialization tiring, I want to say, "Can I go home now?" and mean it. And then leave. And I don't like people invading my privacy, like with Halloween.

Such are some people. We're all normal, just different. Not any better or worse, just ourselves.