Friday, August 5, 2011

It's the Little Things

It's always the little things, but with age, they compound themselves over your life and somewhere between the time you're 50 and 60 they begin to become noticed, and then after 60 they become real, the daily part of your life you can't ignore and have to resolve to live until the reason can be found and fixed or for the rest of your life. Those pesky little things.

I'm no different, and time, age, genes and life has found me and given me some of them I now live with and hate to no end. Yeah, just bitching about and at life. Nothing new, just mine and me, like everyone else facing being over 60 and the pesky little things become part of myself and what I now live with. They're annoying, but there is nothing I can do about some of them.

And then some new ones seem to find you, or me in this case, to add to the list of those pesky little things. And what, if you're still reading this and wonder what?

Well, for one, the Raynaud's Syndrome which have had in my hands since my early 40's found my toes two winters ago and since then they're progressively getting worse. They're now perpetually swollen and red no matter the temperature and my feet, especially my right foot, often swells too. Kinda' makes shoes uncomfortable.

I know it's not something else as I've done the things to help other problems and nothing changes very much. The ends of them are always mildly to moderatley scabbed and in cold weather look like little popsicle only to turn cherry red when the weather warms up, still popsicles just red.

In June I came down with Temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ) when the cartlidge in my upper left jaw shifted and the joint has a mild to moderate clicking sound. The dentist agreed and could only suggest an OTC to help reduce the inflamation and time. Then when eating a few weeks ago there were some very loud clicks and most of it faded imediately but not all, so now it's a little inconvenient click with soreness.

I learned the cartlidge in the jaw is permanently atttached to anything but floats in the joint, held in place by ligaments and muscles, and the cartlidge can, and will as I experienced, shift causing noise, problems and more so pain. Lots of pain. A number of years ago I had a blockage in a salivary gland which almost required surgery. Not fun so, at least this isn't as bad and, like that probem then, slowly healing.

I've written about my digestive issues, and we're slowly resolving them. We'll know more in a month or so when the lab analyzes the samples of the tissue masses, but the current diagnosis is that the masses are blood clots from the small intestine because it's bleeding, and likely in several places. When the lab confirms what the tissues are, and all aren't just clots but something else too, then I'll get to see a gastroentrologist.

I haven't decided if I want to go back to the first one, she was condescending and dismissive, but with real evidence it would be hard to deny it's my imagination this time and hard not to think her initial diagnosis of IBS, age and diet, was premature to say the least and now worse because of her decision not to get more information. I'll make that decision when we have something.

On top of that, the whole issue has made me add 10-12 pounds I can't seem to lose. I don't overeat, and am eating less these days and still gaining weight. Yes, I'm not exercising as much and that's critical for me as I easily gain weight when I don't exercise, but this weight has come since last October and this problem. It's a sudden weight gain, something I really hate the feeling.

Now, well, slowly developing over the last few years and only recently really obvious, my left hand goes numb. Namely 2-3 fingers. It's always been a problem when sleeping and why I can't sleep on my left side, my left hand goes completely numb after about 15-20 minutes. Not fun waking up with that feeling, or lack of it.

I'm sure there are many people, if any are reading this blog, who would say, tough shit or live with it. Like I have a choice. I can and we will resolve the digestive issue, not that I look forward to the examination and proceedures, but still maybe something better than bathroom visits 4-5 times a day. The rest, yes, I will learn, as I have, to adapt and adjust, and just be pissed at what life handed me.

I know it could easily be worse, far worse, and I'm lucky there. So, this entry is more a rant or vent on life than anything, and all those pesky little things that hide until you're 60 and remind you about yourself. Nothing you can undo or change, and everything you have to live with from now on until life decides otherwise.