Friday, October 26, 2012

Finding Your Heart

The best advice often is to find what you're passionate about and do it with all your heart. In other words, finding your heart, find who you are, finding what you love and finding where you want to go in life.

This applies not just to what you do, as I note, but to who you are, not just as a person and how you express your personality, temperament and character, but also as your gender. Yes, the vast majority of people don't see this aspect for one reason.

The sex assigned them at birth, male or female, pretty much matches their gender identity. The physical sex and the gendered mind are different but connected in everyone of us. We're born with a body which ranges from clearly female to clearly male, and most people are near the ends of the spectrum with some people somewhere in the middle.

Our gender identity is in our brain, hardwired into a sense of being, our sense of who we see ourself, across a spectrum from female to male with people in the space in between. It's what defines us later in life about how we present ourself to the world, to be seen as who we are in our mind.

Sometimes people are born where the body and mind are on different parts, sometimes different ends, of the spectrum where the body is one sex and the mind it the other gender. For many intersex people, this is common as their body has both sexes but their mind has a different mix of genders.

For the rest of us, meaning the few of us who have the body of one sex and the mind of the other gender, it's something we didn't want but have to find a way to live with it, but in the end almost everyone makes the decision the mind matters more than the body.

Because the body can be changed to be physically the other sex, less the parts which are innately part of their genetics, but the mind can't be changed due to the hardwired sense of being. Despite all the therapy and faith, which everyone demands, the mind will never overcome the innate sense we all have of ourself.

And to some, it's not what other people like or want us to be, but it's what our heart and mind knows who we are, who we want to be and who we can be, if only the rest of the world understood and didn't hate us for being who we are.

Finding your heart is both the struggle within yourself over the obviousness of your body and the struggle to free your mind and heart to have the body it wants, and the struggle to overcome all the forces of others who tell you differently.

Finding your heart is sometimes the only struggle that matters, everything else follows, and it's the hardest struggle you face in your life, the rest is what follows on the journey and hopefully when you find your heart and mind, and your body, together.

And for some it will take most of their life. Do it when you're young and live your life as you know who you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Find and follow your heart. Be yourself.

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