Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Difference


The only difference between bulimia and obseity is that once eaten the food takes different path to leave the body. This means while the obvious difference between the two is what happens after they eat, it's the eating itself, namely the why, which isn't different. They are the same, only the people experience them are different.

Let's not focus on the symptoms and the condition, but on the people. That's where the answers lie, not in the act, but the heart and mind. The act is the same cry, the same thoughts, emotions and feelings, but it's for different reasons. That's where we should help.

I'm not either, but I've had feelings of both, I just didn't express it to be obvious.

I was always chided as a child for being small, but also not athletic and fit, in others words secret for "you're fat", or at least how I saw myself from all their words. I have some solid German stock in my genes, being half German and half English, and have always had some fat on my body.

And no matter how hard I tried through running, hiking, biking and weight training I never lost the fat and never felt good about myself. And being compared to others by my parents and then seeing it school only excerbated it. This has only magnified with age and of late with the digestive condition and now the Siatic nerve problems.

I know I can't begin to fully understand someone with an eating issues to be bulimic or obese, somehow I always stop short of binging and then throwing up or eating where I can't stop or want to stop. I've always had senses to stop short of either.

But it doesn't change the thoughts, feeling and emotions. They're the same, just the extent, intensity and severity changes, and I know not much separates me from them. It never goes away as my feeling of being hungry and afraid to eat for what it would do and I would do.

It's why we're all the same, food and our body are the enemy, something to hate. It only depends how we express it and how it expresses itself on us.

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